The First Thanksgiving
A twisted history
By
Characters: Narrator
Pilgrim
1
Pilgrim
2
Child
1
Child
2
Woman
1
Woman
2
Indian
1
Indian
2
Indian
Woman
Dog
________________________________________________________________________
Narrator: One day a long time
ago, some people decided they didn’t want to live in England anymore. Why, you
ask? Because they didn’t like the king telling them how to worship God. So they
got a meeting together and decided what to do.
Pilgrim
2: Hear ye,
hear ye! I call this meeting to order! (crying)
What are we going to do?
Pilgrim
1: Let’s get
on a boat and go somewhere.
Pilgrim
1: (still
crying) But where?
Pilgrim
2: Stop
blubbering. We’ll pack our things and go exploring. Then we can worship God the
way we want to.
Pilgrim
1: Well,
okay.
Narrator: So they packed
their things and set sail. But the waves were rough and it took long time. Some of them got sick and some of them died.
But they kept on. They wanted to find a place where the king wouldn’t tell them
what to do.
Pilgrim
2: Land ho!
Narrator: Finally the
people found land. And the men got out and looked it over to see if it was all
right.
Pilgrim
1: I wonder
if there is anyone else who lives here?
Pilgrim
2: How would
I know?
Pilgrim
1: You don’t
have to get huffy. Geez.
Pilgrim
2: Sorry.
Narrator: They looked
around and didn’t see anything, so they built a house to live in. It took a while,
because they had to cut down trees. . .
Pilgrim
1 and 2: Timber!
Narrator: . . .and work
very hard. This made the women tired. They
had to stay in the boat with the children.
Child
1: Stop it!
Mom, she’s pulling my hair!
Child
2: I was
not.
Woman
2: Children,
stop it. You’re making me seasick.
Child
1: When are they ever going to get
done?
Woman
1: I don’t
know. Let’s find out.
Woman
2: Hey
Peter, when will you be finished? We want off this boat!
Pilgrim
2: Cool it, woman!
If you want it done faster, come down here and help!
Woman
1: Women
aren’t supposed to do that work!
Pilgrim
1: This is a
land of opportunity and I just gave you one. Now get down here or be quiet.
Narrator: So, the women
decided to pitch in and help, and the house was finished much faster. But when
they were finished, they were so tired. They had very little food, and no
prospect for getting any more.
Child 1: I’m hungry!
Child
2: Me too!
Woman
1: I know, I
know. But trigger finger here got scared and shot and killed all the bushes
because he thought they were scavengers. (Everyone
looks at Pilgrim #2)
Pilgrim
2: Well, they
looked weird.
Narrator: So they all went
inside. Just then it started to snow. And it snowed. . .
And
it snowed. . .
And
it snowed.
Now
the people had some food, but it wasn’t enough. So the men set out to pick
berries.
Pilgrim
2: But I
picked berries yesterday!
Pilgrim
1: Would you
be quiet? Everyone’s starving and all you care about is yourself.
Narrator: The men came back
and they had a meal. They sat around the table and thanked God for what they
had. While they were eating. . .
Woman
1: What are we
going to call ourselves?
Woman
2: What do you
mean?
Woman
1: Well, we
have to give ourselves a name. We are new explorers and we’ve discovered this
new land.
Pilgrim
2: How about “
Pilgrim
1: Would you
get over it? How about “The New Explorers”?
Child
2: Pilgrims!
Woman
1: What did
you say?
Child
1: She said
“Pilgrims.”
Woman
2: What does
that mean?
Child
1: We learned
in school at home that it means people who journey into foreign lands.
Narrator: Just then a knock came at the door. Who could it
be? Everyone was inside. They were all frightened.
But they answered the door.
Indian
1: How,
pilgrim?
Pilgrim
1: How did you
know who we are?
Indian
1: I saw
strange men over there picking berries yesterday. That mean you foreigner. And
I can tell.
Woman
2: Oh please,
don’t hurt us!
Indian
2: We not come
here to hurt you. We come to trade. If you trade with us, we make peace.
Narrator: So the Pilgrims and
Indians made trades. The Pilgrims gave the Indians guns and tin boxes, and the
Indians gave the Pilgrims sling shots and seeds for corn. The Indians taught
the Pilgrims how to plant the corn. And, for a whole year the Pilgrims and the
Indians lived and worked in harmony with each other.
Indian
Woman: Your
friend still like to pick berries.
Pilgrim
2: So? It’s my
hobby.
Narrator: The Pilgrims decided
to plan a celebration for making it through their first year. So they had
another meeting to plan for it.
Pilgrim
2: Hear ye,
hear ye!
Pilgrim
1: Would you
cut it with the “hear ye”’s!
Woman
1: Let’s have
a big feast for our new Indian friends.
Woman
2: What a
great idea!
Pilgrim
1: We’ll go
out and hunt for a big. . .something or other.
Pilgrim
2: How about a
big bird?
Pilgrim
1: The Indians
call it “turkey.”
Pilgrim
2: O.K.,
turkey. Maybe we can stuff it with berries!
Pilgrim
1: Would you
be quiet? The women can plan the feast and we can hunt and gather.
Woman
2: What shall
we call our feast?
Child
2: Thanksgiving.
Woman
1: What did
you say?
Child
1: She said
“Thanksgiving.” We learned in school at home that to shorten an idea into an
understandable form requires taking an incomplete sentence and giving it
purpose.
Woman
1: Huh?
Child
2: She means
Thanksgiving.
Narrator: So the Pilgrims
decided to call their first feast “Thanksgiving.” There was one problem
however: the men were having trouble with the turkey.
Pilgrim
1: Just shoot
it!
Pilgrim
2: I can’t! (sobbing)
Pilgrim
1: Give me
that sling shot.
Pilgrim
2: No.
Pilgrim
1: Why not?
Pilgrim
2: Because. .
.the bird doesn’t want to die.
Pilgrim
1: How would
you know?
Pilgrim
2: See?
Pilgrim
1: What?
Narrator: This turn of events
puzzled the proud Pilgrims.
Pilgrim
1: What are we
going to do?
Pilgrim
2: Let’s
invite him to dinner.
Pilgrim
1: What? So
instead of shooting it, we invite it to dinner. Good one. NOT!
Pilgrim
2: I’m
serious. What has he ever done to us? Besides, he likes berries.
Pilgrim
1: Well, what
are WE going to eat? The women are expecting to have a grand feast, and instead
of eating the main course we’re going to give him a napkin and ask him to pass
the potatoes!
Pilgrim
2: That’s right.
Pilgrim
1: (pause) YOU’RE INSANE!
Pilgrim
1: Wait! All
right, all right. I give up. Listen, Mr.
Narrator: So the men brought
the turkey home. They introduced him to the family, and everyone loved him.
The
time came for them to gather for the feast. The pilgrims, the Indians, and the
turkey sat down at the table. All the food was prepared, and the Pilgrims began
the feast.
Pilgrim
1: It has been
one year since we came here. It has been hard, (pause) and interesting, but we made it. Now for all we have been
given, for all He has done for us this year, we want to give thanks to God.
Narrator: So they all bowed
their heads and thanked the Lord for bringing them through a rough winter, and
for their bountiful harvest. They thanked Him for food and shelter. They
thanked Him for their new friends the Indians, and for what they had taught
them about growing food, and they thanked God for their new friend, the turkey.
Woman
2: Okay,
turkey. We’re ready for our surprise main course.
Pilgrim
1: Well, what
is it?
Pilgrim
1: Great
talking turkeys! Next thing you know, Rover will be talking.
Dog: Excuse me, can you
please pass the mustard?
Pilgrim
1: AARRGGHH!
Narrator: The Pilgrims and
Indians loved this new food. The turkey enjoyed his berries. And everyone was
happy. So much so, in fact, that they decided to have this feast at the same
time each year, to remind them of how God brought them through a rough time,
and of how He brings all good things to His children.